If you were raising your kids to become the president or Tiger Woods, would you be doing it differently?
You are raising the parents of tomorrow. It’s all energy and how we use it.
– Tell them they are valuable just because they are in the world and they won the race (the race of
billions of sperms). Say, “You make my day. Your smile lights up the room. No matter what, I’m glad to
be your parent.”
o In order to be an adult, you have to be a child. You have to laugh when they’re covered in spaghetti,
play, be a kid with your kid, connect, and teach.
· Children see and hear the world differently than adults.
· Reading and writing out lines at school can be seen as punishment.
If you say something and you get a different reaction than you expected, they probably heard something
else.
For instance, a child trips and breaks pottery they made for Mom. Mom says, “It’s ok, you can make
another.” The child thinks that his mom hates him. The child heard that what he did wasn’t a big deal
because the pottery wasn’t important, as it could be replaced. Therefore, Mom doesn’t care about him.
· Don’t deal with the behavior, but look under the behavior.
· Apologies are meaningless lies. “Tell your sibling you’re sorry and say it like you mean it.” We are
essentially telling the child to lie. Instead, tell them to say they’re sorry only when it’s heartfelt, to own
their behavior, such as “It was wrong of me to…” They don’t have to be sorry if they’re not.
Kids need alternatives to anger and disappointment. What are they supposed to do instead of yelling
or slamming doors? Teach them what’s ok to do and help them to replace destructive behaviors.. For
example, they can shoot hoops, hit a pillow, and scream in their room.
Explain to them that feelings are not how they feel. You don’t really feel that way. You don’t mean it. For
instance, “I hate my teacher.” You don’t really hate your teacher.
Don’t do things for them because it’s faster, such as tying shoes. You’re telling them they are
incompetent to do it. Can you think of other examples?
To learn more, contact me for a complimentary evaluation. Remember that your children are important
and they are our hope for the future. Stay tuned for more blogs and articles.
Dr. Elena Pezzini
You Have Got The Power, Inc.
You Got The Power, non profit organization
Strategic Internet Psychology
http://www.YouHaveGotThePower.com
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